Larry and I visited family in NJ a couple of weekends ago after not really seeing anyone since Thanksgiving of last year; a confluence of influenza in my family kept me up in Salem for the Knish’s and mine’s safety. On the way home, driving through some rather nasty snow and freezing rain on unplowed roads, my phone started blowin’ up.
First, it was my friend, Neha: “Are you prepared for an Anne Hathaway Oscar win tonight?”
Then, my friend, Tom: “Whenever i see Anne Hathaway I think of Keiko Zoll. Lol”
Chrissy weighed in moments later: “…i had to post… she’s accepting her Oscar right now. Ugh. I hate her too…”
So I finally relented and acknowledged the unavoidable:
I got lots of likes and sympathetic comments. My dislike for Ms. Hathaway is well-known among my friends and has been kind of a running joke since high school. For those not in the know, let me fill you in…
Back in the misty memories of the late 1990s, well before GLEE or even High School Musical, high school kids were still singing, dancing and acting their little hearts out. I was one of them. For me, Choir, Chorale and Drama Club were my life. People, this was my art we were talkin’ about here.
Back in New Jersey, I was very priviledged to have a state that supports the arts as much as it did back then (now, not so much). I was involved in my music groups and drama club after school and on weekends, participated in select ensembles comprised of students from regional high schools. I was section leader for All South Jersey Chorus and chased after the section leader title year after year in All State Chorus. Every year, I got closer, always within the top five highest audition scores.
My junior year of high school was particularly noteworthy: if I made section leader, I was guaranteed to participate in the MENC All Eastern Honors Chorus. All Eastern only convened every other year, alternating their performances between Miami and New York City… at Carnegie Hall. When the scores came back from All State auditions, my choir teacher pulled me out of French class to give me the good news: I was going to All Eastern! I was the first student from our district to make it to All Eastern!
The bad news: “But you didn’t make section leader… but that’s okay because All Eastern takes the top TWO from each section!” Meaning: I had missed section leader by 3 lousy points, but I was still on my way to Carnegie Hall that spring.
The name that sat above mine: Anne Hathaway – Millburn High School.
Come that early spring of 1999, I got to meet Anne in person, since our seating arrangements during rehearsal were organized by state. We chatted on and off in between pieces as we rehearsed in the Performing Arts High School where FAME was filmed. At one point, I mentioned how in awe I was of the fact that I was actually going to perform on the stage of Carnegie Hall – at sixteen no less. And what happened next is where Ms. Hathaway and I got on two very, very different ships sailing in opposite directions.
She shrugged. “Yeah, that’s pretty cool I guess. I’m going to be a on TV show in the fall and my agent said that if I really wanted to be marketable in Hollywood I need to be a triple threat, so I’m just doing All Eastern to beef up my resume.”
(Liberal 15+ year-old memory of what she said, not direct quote, just to be clear.)
I’m pretty sure my mouth was hanging open. See, if you knew me when I was 16, you’d know that music – particularly vocal performance – was my life. It’s really, really hard to emphasize just how obsessed, disciplined and passionate I was about my singing.
To know that only 3 stupid points separated me from section leader, to know that she wasn’t as committed I was, to know that All Eastern was just some kind of Hollywood resume bullet point… In retrospect, I think I can understand the one about Ramses and how G-d “hardened his heart” because at that moment in my life, I was done with her as a person.
And since then, especially after the Harry Potter books and films, she became known as “She Who Must Not Be Named” in my circle of friends and family. To this day, I make a point not to watch her in film or on TV. I only watched Brokeback Mountain because I didn’t know she was in it. It took all of my resolve to sit through The Dark Knight because I was really invested in Christopher Nolan’s Batman trilogy. I refused to watch the 2011 Oscars when she hosted.
And as much as I love Les Miserables (remember, psycho-obsessed with music and theatre in the mid-90s here), no matter how much I want to see Hugh Jackman portray one of my favorite musical protagonists – I won’t see it.
Ever.
Sounds totally whacko, right?
Yeah, I know. I feel like it sounds crazier each year that passes from that moment in my life and in each retelling of this story.
But at least I’ve got proof:
Fast forward 15 years to the night she’s accepting an Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. I’m sure Amy Adams, Sally Field, Helen Hunt and Jacki Weaver can all sympathize with my tale of woe, of coming in second best to She Who Must Not Be Named.
And then, several friends this past week sent me this link:
Why Do Women Hate Anne Hathaway (But Love Jennifer Lawrence)?
“I can’t figure out why I don’t like Anne Hathaway. Or rather, why we don’t. In all the social-media fallout from the Oscars, the Best Supporting Actress winner also almost won Most Detested Figure of the Night, finishing just behind Seth MacFarlane and the idiot at The Onion who tweeted a slur about 9-year-old Quvenzhané Wallis…” (Read the rest here.)
My gut reactions:
1. See, it’s not just me.
2. I just planted a cultural seed of trendy-hate all those years ago.
In any event, congrats? I guess? I mean, yeah, the Oscars are Hollywood’s acclaimed masturbatory celebration of itself, but whatever, having not seen Les Miz I guess it’s well-earned?
Whatever.
I still got the NJ Governor’s Award in Vocal Music that year and she didn’t.
So really – it all washes out.
Right?